swinging single

ichiro went 5-5 last nite and is now back on pace to break the single season hits record. i have never been a big fan of ichiro, mostly because he undeservedly won the MVP back in 2001 (he wasn't even the best hitter on the m's that year). i realize he is very good, blah blah blah, and that this is a ridiculously hard record to break. but i pretty much think he is overrated/overhyped. he isn't even among the top 10-15 hitters in the AL alone. he's hitting over .370 and his OBP is barely over .410. ichiro (.872 OPS) is on par offensively with johnny damon (.858) and carlos lee (.881), not the likes of manny, sheff, or vlad. he's arguably not even the best japanese outfielder (matsui's OPS is .886).

the guy has 33 extra base hits. how can he be so friggin fast that he beats out groundballs to first, but he can't leg out some doubles? i get sick and tired of guys on the mariners saying shit about how he could hit more homeruns if he wanted, that he spends all of batting practice hitting bombs. well let's fucking see it in games! yes he has unreal bat control. yes he has deion-like speed. is he extremely unique? absolutely. a draw for fans? sure. but im gonna go out on a limb here and say ichiro is as one-dimensional a hitter as, say, pete incaviglia. and he has worse facial hair than a 13 year old going thru puberty (or me at age 26, same shit).

earlier in the week he took the single season singles record from wee willie keeler. now this just sucks. i'd much rather have a guy in the record books whose name makes him sound like (1) a midget wrestler, or (2) what some 5'2" guy calls his penis. i don't think there can be much debate on this.

im sure espn will start cutting in to show his ab's live in the next few days. i have no problem with this - a record is a record. but i really hope that when he hits #258, it's not some squibber to third that he beats by half a step. even though this would be representative of a large percentage of his hits, it would be totally anti-climactic. and no one likes a bad climax.

so lets wrap this up.
ichiro: very good, but overrated.
pete incaviglia: at this very moment, probably drinking at a trucker bar with darren daulton. undoubtedly sporting a mullet.
my facial hair: on par with all non-mel gibson characters in mad max, beyond thunderdome.
johnny damon: throws and has hair like a really unattractive girl. but hits well.
wee willie keeler: fucking awesome.

-ETG